Thank God that there is 1st in every month and Stupid me

    Some days are hard, some are average, some are crazy awesome and some are 'blah', and people that's the worst of all because you don't know what to do and you go around the clock figuring out what the fudge is happening. And that was exactly what was going on with me for the last 4 days and I am still in that phase where I am trying to figure out what happened on all of a sudden. The blah phase and that figuring out part cost me 2 things :

        1. 4 internal exams( I fucking skipped them)
        2. didn't write this blog for 4 freaking days.

Now when I think back, I am like "was it really necessary to skip those for the sake of sleeping more and faking diarrhoea I didn't have", I still have no clue or maybe it was necessary so that I could come back stronger ( I know you hear that a lot from people who do these kinds of things, but every time you have a hope that you are going to come back stronger every time and that hope is what keeps me going every day). And yes there's 1st in every month so that I can tell myself "macha it's okay, you can come back stronger from tomorrow ( thank God 1st of this month came sooner)".

    But it's a weird feeling when you realise you had a good flow and it just breaks for no reason it just breaks and you keep thinking on how to break the break and come back on track. I think that's what we need to find in our life as in something we miss when we do not it, and when we break that loop of not doing that something, the only thing that goes in our mind is how to get back on track and make it work, and I think that is what is we need to find because in the end that that is what is going to make us happy.

    Skipping the last 4 days is completely on me, and taking accountability for that is the first thing I did because without understanding and embracing what I did I would never really understand what was happening and I know it's not going to work if I do not take ownership because there will be this tendency for me to just put on the blame on the external factors, as Jennifer Lopez said "the only thing stopping you is 'you' " and understanding that and taking that into heart is the first step for a better life.

The weirdest part is that I know all of this, I know that I understand these things also but it's not easy, it's fucking, not easy make it practical because it takes a lot of sacrifices, it takes a lot of saying 'no', and it takes effort to follow what you want to follow. 

And me being a lazy ass with high dreams and hopes I am just stuck in a loop and trying hard to get out of it. Soon enough boi, soon enough. #breaktheloopofskipping 

    Waking up at 5.00 am and snoozing it till 7 am is an art, an art in which we all are magnificently skilled in. And me being a master expert in that had no problem doing the same. Only thing which was different today was that I was not getting ready to go to class but to attend placement drive which was happening in our college ( it's a very unusual thing for me because I basically fucked up semesters[ academics] and I clearly don't meet the cutoffs of majority of the companies that come here, and I thought fuck academics grades I can survive with my so-called "technical" skills and that confidence didn't last long, I got proper fuck ups to realise that I was not even scratching the surface). So this was one of the few companies in which I could appear for and I applied for it. The screening phase was basically 4 rounds of aptitude which was jammed into 1 hrs 40 mints and out of that the last 1 hr would only appear if you maintain some minimum threshold in the first 3 rounds, and as I was super confident in my aptitude skills ( an obvious sarcasm ) I never thought I would clear them even though it went okayish. But to my surprise, BOOM, I got that minimum threshold cleared the first 3 and now I could attempt the coding question. I was literally so happy that I could just jump off and start to dance, but I kept calm put on some attitude on my face and I was like " ayye coodingo ippo kaanichu theram" [i was despising the coding round] (again a sarcasm). But the questions were so simple that a 12th-grade student could do it, but I got stuck, I got really really stuck. For christ sake, I got the logic on how to do it but fuck fuck fuck I couldn't get the input field, that was sad really sad.
   
    To make it a bit clearer on how easy the questions were, they are as below:
        1. To return the number of perfect squares in that sequence of numbers.
        2. To delete the vowels in a string and print that.

    PROBLEMS:

1. In the input was like numbers separated by single space, so I was trying to capture the space and store it but it was too late ( when I reached my class back ) when I realized the fact that '\n' and ' ' work as delimiter in c++ i.e putting space while entering the numbers in array is same as pressing the Enter key. I wasted almost 75 per cent of my time to fix this.
2. In the second question, I could have just outputted the characters which were not vowels, but NO, I thought too much and fucked that up too.

    The first thing I did coming back from the test was to solve it, after coming back I knew how to input in a new way, I knew only printing the values were important and I solved the same question in less than 15 minutes, that's when I realised that I too can do it but only with practice. 

    Key points of the day( sounds funny):

1.  Whenever you are solving questions in any programming solving website, make sure you write down the driver code ( the main function where you input/take the values), yourself because that would help you understand how to input the values in most of the questions the driver code will be already present.
2.  In the screening test only output matters, so think very basic, think on how to output.
3.  Start doing things now, if not you ain't going to start anytime.

    It took some time for me to write this blog down, I was getting stuck and maybe because I didn't write for 4 days, but that would be wrong, I did write 2 articles, incomplete though but as some critics commented on the movie Joker(2019) " I don't know if the world is ready for it". I was planning to post it in those days but when I read it after drafting it I felt it was very deep and dark maybe because of the blah phase but the titles were: 'Sustenance, Lies and Procrastination'  and 'Existence, Survival and What Next?'

    Have a good day and happy hacking! \m/